Alone!

Life is a bunch of hurdles, like humps in a road: If a good suspension is there with the vehicle then the humps can be cleared with no real big pain. But imagine how tough-ride it becomes when suspension does not go well with the vehicle. Either the vehicle or the suspension got some issues, but sufferers are both. Humps take the advantage of it and try to over smart both the vehicle and suspension.

Suppose the suspension does not work properly because the oil to do its functionality is out of stock: The suspension knows about it and so do the vehicle. The issue here is the suspension is in a notion that the vehicle does not know about it and assumes that the vehicle is trying to be harsh on it. Whereas vehicle very well knows about it. The vehicle just needs the faith and trust of the suspension. The brake system and the overall aerodynamics of the vehicle tries to compensate for the oil loss in the suspension. Definitely the joy of ride (life) is not as good as it used to be. But still the vehicle does not give up, it tries to cover up and make it somewhat reasonable a ride. But the suspension assumes that the vehicle is giving pain by allowing the rider to ride. The rider knows the overall situation and urges both vehicle and suspension to be patient and face the humps (hurdles of life).

Vehicle puts a brake and tries to sooth the suspension. In fact the brake is applied by the rider and not by the vehicle itself. But still suspension does know that there is a rider who is controlling the ride and not the vehicle. Suspension is in deep mental pain and cribs for the situation. Suspension is in real sort of oil. But the trauma is not due to vehicle, its just the rider sometimes delays in filling the oil (joy of life). What is the solution here?:- Shall the suspension continue cribbing about the situation and continue the assumption that the vehicle is not coping up? Suspension does not know that the vehicle is the one who is putting all pressure on its old bully 2-piston system. Vehicle is in real need of support. One side is the suspension, who is not keen to listen to it, and other side is its heart (2-piston engine), which is not able to bear the pull.

Hello suspension! Please take a break and understand the pain the vehicle is going through. Vehicle is trying to help you by sharing and taking some pain to its 2-piston system. The ride can still be decent if both shake their hands and understand the dynamics of ride (life). After all the rider wants the overall result and does not see things singularly.

Suspension thinks oil is its mate and the pain can be reduced only with the oil it lost. Oil has cheated whereas, it has vanished out of suspension's body. Vehicle knows about it and is trying to make the suspension feel good about the ride by saying "we both can make it". But the suspension is stubborn and assumes that the vehicle is trying to get rid of it.

The point here is vehicle also needs some support. But suspension is not understanding it and is in pain of oil loss. Vehicle all alone is fighting it out and trying to convince the suspension that it is also helpless, it needs support from the suspension as the ride will still go on as the rider is in command and not the vehicle. Sometimes the vehicle has the responsibility to bear the weight of rider and the pillion. The back suspension is full of energy and with full oil to have all joy ride. The front suspension, who is in sort of oil, is fooled by back suspension. Back suspension tells the front suspension that the killer is the vehicle. The front suspension is just ignorant of the point that the pain is more with vehicle. When vehicle tried to make the suspension understand that he has been trying to help, the suspension got pissed of and argued saying you are just a vehicle and not the God.

Same is the story of mine!

Shashi (suspension) and I (vehicle) were happily moving gracefully in life (ride). There comes the twist and we face a tough situation. Did the vehicle (me) invite it? Who does not want a smooth ride after all? But both were making it by helping and understanding each other. Slowly the oil completely vanished, we faced more challenges I mean. But the ride also needs to continue, right? Because the rider here is the almighty.

Shashi does not understand me. I have become alone. I have supported her in every part of the life. I know I am a very responsible person at least, if not a great person. Yes I am a normal person and not a God. Normal persons get tough situations but God does not. Till now whatever I have done is all with good intensions to help the situation. Pain here is everyone understands me except you shashu.

You think I am worried about money? I was never and will never be.

You think I am tired of the situation? No!! I am tired of loneliness. There is typical bonding between a husband and wife. The bonding is trust and affection. Affection is there, you are worried if I have eaten food or not. You are worried about health. But what about my mental strength? As you say, I am a human and not a God, right? Then I also need some mental support.

You very well know that I have always tried to take care of everyone: Sudha, Sandhya, Papa and Mama. I dont know then why do you think that whatever I suggest, is not to help anyone?

Even if you would not have asked, I would have done everything for mama and papa. Calling mama to stay here is again a step to help her and help you. I am bit surprised to know that you think some ill is there in my mind. I am surprised!!! Everyone is glued to only one sentence "Papa thik hote to yeh sab dekhna nahin padta". Everyone!!! Tell me, papa needs us or we need papa.  I too sometimes feel it but I get along and try to do what is supposed to be done. Its very simple, yaar. If I called mama then its to help you so that you will get some breathing space, you can do some partial job also (only if you wish). What extra benefit I have if mama comes? I think about you, but you are not understanding it. Rather you say I have lost patience and I am tired. Think over it with cool mind.

Babloo: He is like this since childhood right? Then why are we talking about him and why are we getting hyper? We should find solution right? Prevention is better than facing the situation.

One point: What about my parents? No one is perfect in this world. Issues are with Dad and so do others. Did I ever stop talking to anyone? I have complained so many times about Sandhya, mama and others. Its the same, they are not perfect. But there is a relation between me and sandhya, me and mama. And I admire the relations, I try to keep it good. You have completely left everything to me saying tum apna dekho aur apne maa, baapko sambhalo. As a wife I need your support right? It takes a minute to share love. A call, once in a while, may be a month will do. Just to make them feel that you love them.

I am sad that after supporting till this extent also you have so much of negative feelings for me. I feel helpless and lonely!!