I remember glimpse of my kindergarten days. Always in jovial mood and enjoying with friends. Nothing used to lure me or nothing used to stop me to enjoy upto my fullest extent. I was happy while playing and even I was happy while crying for chocolates, horlicks, amul and ofcos my favorite ice cream. How fun it was? But only thing I can say is "Gone are the DAYS".
Oh God!!! why u took away that funny age from my layers of age bars. What crime I did for which u enhanced all my awareness/senses to feel for sorrows. Cannot you make them to catch only joy and happiness? I wish I were like that. I was a maverick.
Things started when I joined school, slowly I allowed myself to have a coating of external hinderance for happiness. I started feeling the word "self". Started feeling jealous of people who were better than me. But why? Even I dono. I remember my standard-2 final mathe exam results, I got 95 out of 100. There was a girl who had secured 100 out of 100. I tried to cheat my teacher by manipulating one answer in the paper. I was caught. Since then I stopped talking to that girl for jealousy. Later thought of talking to her but unfortunately I left that school. I was not happy for months because she secured more than me, that to she used to stay near my home. When I was in Lkg, why din I think about my marks? These all questions always make me to mull.
High school days, started hating people whom I din like. I wonder why this din happen in early days. Does it lead to "M not happy" tag to my forehead? Got everything sweet family, good bunches of jokers (my pals). But still I went to kettles of fish every other day thinking about what I don have. But why cant I think what God has given me. "Aren't I happy?"
College days, people started thinking about engineering and medical. I too, "engineering is good handsome salary and lots of exposure" thats what a 16 year old boy thinks out of school. Went into the channelized and already set single line career. Later on realized, am not happy with it. But no options. Joined a software company, one of the best in core development. But I am not happy. Don ask me guys, I don know even. Started feeling like, gimme a break and lemme change my company. Joined an international MNC. Felt good for few days. But the memory cells started pulling me "am not happy". Now what, I dont know, confused!!!!!!!!
Now too its happening intermittently, sometimes m happy and sometimes I go into oceans. Why? Is it like all the people fell so, or "am not happy?". I feel "If I were a kid".....
But we grow along with our age and we start to think a lot, with this beutiful mind people are there who hold their nerves and they come out of all these mental traumas. A renowned boxer (don remember the name) had stated something which we always come across in our life. He was suffering from cancer, known to be the most dangerous decease to perish. He was asked in an interview, do you regret and complain God. He replied if I din ask God "Why me" when he made me boxing champion and gave all happiness then why shall I do now?
Guys, While I wrote this blog was thinking I wont be unhappy anymore. But its really a huge task, will definitely write blogs if I will come across any such bad day where I feel "Aren't I happy!!!!!!!".
